How to Buy a Sex Toy

This guide was first published in 2022 and is due for a refresh. Some products may have newer versions. See our brand guides for current recommendations.

Buying your first sex toy? Choosing from all the different options out there can be pretty daunting, but with our helpful tips you’re sure to find just the right vibe…

My First Sex Toy: A Buyer’s Guide

So you’re finally taking the plunge and buying a sex toy. First of all, congratulations! New pleasures await you, and your first sex toy is a huge first step towards a more fulfilling sex life. There’s just one problem though — that first search is pretty difficult, what with the thousands and thousands of choices on offer. 

Where do you even begin? We’re here to make your first steps much easier with our handy buyer’s guide of some of the things you should be looking for and considering as you seek out your first sex toy. For instance:

What kind of pleasure do you like? During your solo sexual experiences, how do you get off? Do you prefer external clitoral stimulation, or internal G-spot massage? Knowing which one you prefer will narrow down your search in a big way. If you’re perhaps not sure which one you prefer, then opt for a traditional vibrator that you can use either internally or externally. Before entering your credit card details however, it’s worth considering:

Is the toy body-safe? Some of the toys you’ll be seeing in your search will be less than ideal for beginners as well as seasoned pros not because they don’t work, but because they’re unsafe. Many sex toys — cheap ones especially — are made with shoddy materials that can be harmful to your health. If you’re considering a sex toy covered in rubbery, jelly-like rubber material, avoid it, because it likely contain phthalates. Phthalates are a toxic substance used to soften plastics. They’re carcinogenic, meaning they can cause cancer. If the sex toy you’re interested in doesn’t expressly say that it is phthalate-free on its webpage or its packaging, then consider contacting the seller or looking elsewhere.

Body-safe sex toys are made with neutral, easy-to-clean materials like ABS plastic or silicone. Luckily, there are a lot of good brands out there (companies like We-Vibe, Womanizer, LELO or ROMP) who only sell sex toys made from these materials. ABS plastic and silicone are great materials because they don’t require any treatment with harmful chemicals and they last a really long time when looked after properly. They’re also non-porous, meaning that between uses they won’t harbor any bacteria or dirt, meaning they’re easy to keep clean so you can use and enjoy them without worry. Then, think about:

Where do you want to use it? Where do you usually tend to masturbate? In bed? In the shower? Taking a bath? We bring this up because depending on where you like to do it, you may have to choose between a waterproof sex toy or one that is for use on dry land only. We’ll suggest that when in doubt, just opt for the waterproof or at least splash-proof option: they’re much easier to clean.

Don’t worry about discretion. Whether you’re buying it in-person at a shop or ordering it online, you don’t have to worry about people knowing your dirty secret. Online sex toy purchases from reputable brands come in discreet packaging that simply looks like an Amazon or eBay purchase with no indicators of whats inside. Likewise with in-store purchases, most shops will wrap your purchase in nondescript wrapping or shopping bags.

Remember that you’re not alone. For every sex toy on the market, there are numerous review videos available on YouTube where you can hear users’ honest opinions. Think of the last time you bought a laptop; didn’t you watch a bunch of review videos before finally deciding which one to get? Same goes for sex toys.